Hello, you're lovely. Won't you tell me your name?

Recently, there has been a challenge that's been trending on Facebook- yes, the #ComplimentChallenge. Its this thing where you upload your status and ask people to drop a comment and you respond to the comment with a compliment. Some people termed this as "the most stupid thing I've seen in human mankind" but I thought that this would be a welcome change from all the hate in my life, and it was. But it also made me  realise something very important.

Have we forgotten how to appreciate?

This world is changing, and changing fast and somewhere along the way we have forgotten some things that were never meant to be forgotten. And it's not only about appreciating others, we've even forgotten how to appreciate ourselves.
Ever since we were little, we've been told about the 'magic words'- thank you, I love you and sorry.
Someone would do something nice for us, and our parents would ask us, "Beta, what is the magic word?" and with utmost joy and satisfaction we'ed happily oblige and respond "THANK YOUUUUUU" which would then be followed by the laughter of all the adults in the room or a joint chorus of "Awwwwww".
We were kids then. We're adults now. And as adults, thank-you has become something that's just a formality.
Except, it's not.
Thank you is a way of appreciating a person for whatever nice thing they've done or said. You know what else is appreciating? - saying something nice or doing something nice for a person.
And we've successfully forgotten both.

I didn't know that the world was in dire need of true appreciation. When I uploaded my status on Facebook, I was surprised by the number of people who commented. And not just the number, I was even surprised by some people in general. Some were people I didn't even know or had ever met. All of these people just wanted to hear someone say something nice about them because apparently, that isn't the normal way of life. Why? Because-

We have built a world where putting others down in the race to come first has become more important than pushing each other to be the best we can and hence call everyone a winner.

When was the last time you did something nice for someone without expecting anything in return? When was the last time you complimented someone without a motive?
Ask yourself honestly. I'll admit, I certainly haven't done any of the things mentioned above in quite a while. And I feel quite sad about it.
They say that happiness is contagious. So is appreciation. And since happiness is a reaction to appreciation, it's safe to say that we'll all be a great deal happier if only we can start to appreciate.

Not just appreciate others, but also learn to accept appreciation for ourselves.
When I was in school, I had this habit of randomly complimenting people. And it wasn't just donkey praise. If I found something nice about them, I'd tell them. But the weird part was that sometimes, they would think I'm lying, or feel obligated to say something nice in return. One of my friends, Sanskriti Sharma was quite different though. Every time I'd compliment her, she would smile, blush and say "thanks". And you know what, it made me feel happy that in some way she's happy. (Sanskriti, if you're reading this, thank you for making me realise the importance of appreciating people.)

So ask yourself this- when was the last time you just accepted a compliment?

When was the last time that you didn't feel the need to contradict someone when they said "Hey, you look nice today"? When was the last time you didn't compare yourself with another when someone called you beautiful? When was the last time that someone said something nice and you just accepted it with open arms, with only a thank you for their kind words?
It's been a while hasn't it?

It's time we started to embrace our awesomeness, while also acknowledging and appreciating the awesomeness of others.

Go ahead, compliment someone. Watch them smile. Watch the smile come on your face as well. Feel the happiness, spread the love.
Oh, and if you didn't already know-

"Hello, you're lovely. Wont you tell me you name?" :)

To Sir, with love.

Hello dear human!
I don't know if you know this but "final exams" aren't really exams for people studying design. (and architecture, I think)
We have something called the 'jury'. It is a real-life feedback system consisting of 2-4 humans who get to decide whether you will pass the semester, based on their opinions of what you made. Which is really strange because in a world of billions on people with billions of opinions, apparently if these 4 people don't like it, it is automatically assumed that the rest of the world also won't. And hence you become a 'bad designer' and hence you fail the semester. No offence to these 4 people of course. they are all experts in their fields, I know. And they have far more experience and knowledge that any of us students, nevertheless, it wouldn't hurt them to maybe just be a little bit more nice sometimes.
Anyway, what happens during a jury is that you basically display all your work done through the entire semester and explain it. In an exam, you don't have the examiner sitting right in front of you, pointing out your mistake as you write the paper. In a jury though, that's exactly what happens. And while some people are not affected by it, others like me tend to lose their train of thought and end up making a mess of everything that follows.
We think something in our heads and say something else. So here's what really goes on inside our heads- the behind the scenes footage of a jury. Dedicated to all professors, with love.

Dear Sir(s) and Ma'am(s),
Good-afternoon. I hope you are all in a good mood today as your opinions will shape the rest of my future, so please don't say anything out of anger. Welcome to the display of my work. What you see before you is hours and hours of sweat, tears and sleepless nights. No, it's not just a piece of paper with some design on it, it's a glimpse into my thoughts at the time that I was making it.
You will now ask me why I picked a particular topic, trying to see if I've done my research. And I will fail to answer you as per your expectations. Not because I didn't do my research but because the fear of you not liking what I've made consumes my brain more than anything else. I will forget the answers to simple questions and you will seize that opportunity to try and bring me down just a little more to see if my self-confidence will waver. And yes, it just might.
The assistant will come in with some refreshments. And just like that, I will lose your attention. You have been sitting here for a while now and you're hungry, I know. I only wish that you knew even I had not eaten a single morsel of food since daybreak. It's okay, I will wait. I've put in a lot of effort, so I will wait. I stand there, fidgeting with my fingers as you savour your tea and snacks and with the most polite voice, I ask you- "Sir, may I continue?"
You nod in agreement, still not paying attention to what I'm so desperately trying to say. I make a mistake and suddenly, you are all ears. I flinch. You know I'm getting nervous.
I gather whatever's left of my confidence and continue to explain the rest of my work. But you are bored now. You sigh in exasperation. "Hurry up, we have many more students to finish" you tell me. My heart sinks. I think to myself, what was the point of rehearsing your explanation yesterday? Quickly I re-arrange my thoughts to suit the given time-frame. I finish my explanation and thank them all for for their time. They look at me, then at my work, then at me again and ask me "Is that all?".
I flinch again. Do they feel I haven't worked enough? Have I been a little to brief? Maybe I forgot some important point. Is this all I have? Oh god, everyone else must have shown them so much.
"Yes ma'am that is all" I reply, after a second.
They take a brief minute to write down my feedback, I ask them to sign my hall ticket, they ask me to sign the attendance sheet. Then they show me my feedback- "Could have done some more research"
I sigh. I ask them if I can leave the room, they nod.

As soon as I come out the room, my classmates will bombard me with questions. I will lie and tell them that the jury was great even though I know it was just 'okay-ish'.
Later that evening, my mother will call me and ask me how I did. I will tell her 'it was fine' just like I always do. She doesn't understand that this is not like an exam where there is one correct answer that applies for everyone. I end up having to comfort myself, even mom cannot help me with this one.
I have dinner, with no interest in actually eating, and go to bed.
Tomorrow will be a new day, I tell myself.
Just hold on, Mriganka, tomorrow will be a new day.

Things I wish someone had told me

Sometimes I wish
That someone would just snap me out of my thoughts.
I wish that they would shake me and wake me
And tell me things that I need to hear.
I wish that someone told me
That I don’t need to punish myself
When I don’t rise to my parents’ expectations.
Or that starvation was a terrible thing to do,
Even if it’s because you’re busy with work.
I wish that someone had told me
That I shouldn’t be ashamed of my name
 It’s unique, like me.
And I wish they told me
That there’s no pressure to know where I want to be
In the next 5 years, just because my employer wants to know.
After all, who knows if I’ll still be alive then?
Sometimes I wish that someone had told me
That it’s okay to tell my friend my problems
And that it doesn’t make me broken,
Because if I had just spoken to someone the minute I felt I wasn’t okay,
I wouldn’t ever have to say that I feel like I’m alone.
I wish that someone had told me
That the size of your bra doesn’t affect who you are
And your body isn’t something you should be ashamed of,
And that you should be proud of each and every cell that you’re made of.
And that you shouldn’t be afraid
That you wouldn’t live up to a boy’s expectation,
You owe no explanations
If what they assumed isn’t what they get.
Sometimes I wish that someone had told me
That it’s not okay to compromise with your self-respect.
It’s not okay for people to take advantage of your feelings
And then make you feel guilty about it.
I wonder if I ever even realised that I was being played (I doubt it)
I wish that someone had told me
That the cold touch
Of the blades I had used so much
In the hopes of relieving my pain were all in vain
And that no good ever comes from hurting yourself.
I wish someone had told me
That those chicken pox marks I have
Are just that. Just marks.
And I shouldn’t feel conscious about it.
I wish someone had told me
That I can trust men
And that just because one of them decided to molest me,
Doesn’t mean that they’re all bad.
And I know it’s sad
But ever since that incident, I’ve been influenced
Into thinking that every guy just wants to hurt me.
And I wish that someday, a man with real patience
Will break down that wall, take away the inhibition
And maybe then, I’ll learn to love again.
These are the things I wish someone had told me
And now I wish someone would come and hold me
As I fight back tears of bad memories and regret
That have scarred my mind for a little too long
I wasted time thinking about things that I thought were wrong
And if someone- someone had just come and said
All of these things I was thinking of in the back of my head
If someone had said it loud and clear
Maybe then I wouldn’t have those fears
Or doubts, or inhibitions or second guesses.
All this pain, could have been saved
If only someone had told me before, what I know today.