Things I wish someone had told me

Sometimes I wish
That someone would just snap me out of my thoughts.
I wish that they would shake me and wake me
And tell me things that I need to hear.
I wish that someone told me
That I don’t need to punish myself
When I don’t rise to my parents’ expectations.
Or that starvation was a terrible thing to do,
Even if it’s because you’re busy with work.
I wish that someone had told me
That I shouldn’t be ashamed of my name
 It’s unique, like me.
And I wish they told me
That there’s no pressure to know where I want to be
In the next 5 years, just because my employer wants to know.
After all, who knows if I’ll still be alive then?
Sometimes I wish that someone had told me
That it’s okay to tell my friend my problems
And that it doesn’t make me broken,
Because if I had just spoken to someone the minute I felt I wasn’t okay,
I wouldn’t ever have to say that I feel like I’m alone.
I wish that someone had told me
That the size of your bra doesn’t affect who you are
And your body isn’t something you should be ashamed of,
And that you should be proud of each and every cell that you’re made of.
And that you shouldn’t be afraid
That you wouldn’t live up to a boy’s expectation,
You owe no explanations
If what they assumed isn’t what they get.
Sometimes I wish that someone had told me
That it’s not okay to compromise with your self-respect.
It’s not okay for people to take advantage of your feelings
And then make you feel guilty about it.
I wonder if I ever even realised that I was being played (I doubt it)
I wish that someone had told me
That the cold touch
Of the blades I had used so much
In the hopes of relieving my pain were all in vain
And that no good ever comes from hurting yourself.
I wish someone had told me
That those chicken pox marks I have
Are just that. Just marks.
And I shouldn’t feel conscious about it.
I wish someone had told me
That I can trust men
And that just because one of them decided to molest me,
Doesn’t mean that they’re all bad.
And I know it’s sad
But ever since that incident, I’ve been influenced
Into thinking that every guy just wants to hurt me.
And I wish that someday, a man with real patience
Will break down that wall, take away the inhibition
And maybe then, I’ll learn to love again.
These are the things I wish someone had told me
And now I wish someone would come and hold me
As I fight back tears of bad memories and regret
That have scarred my mind for a little too long
I wasted time thinking about things that I thought were wrong
And if someone- someone had just come and said
All of these things I was thinking of in the back of my head
If someone had said it loud and clear
Maybe then I wouldn’t have those fears
Or doubts, or inhibitions or second guesses.
All this pain, could have been saved
If only someone had told me before, what I know today.